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12/09/2004: "Ascent"

In this part of New Jersey the topography is like a gently rumpled blanket on the bed. The ridges start rising fifty and a hundred feet above the plain, and get steeper and deeper as you proceed to the north and west, into the hardscrabble country of Warren County, approaching the Water Gap. The afternoon was mild and I had nothing special to do so I went over to the Audubon. The trail starts off in the hollow with a moderately challenging uphill climb of a few hundred feet. My blood was circulating properly and I was breathing deep when I got to the top. If I was hoping the exercise and natural beauty would put me into a calm state I was mistaken. The motion seemed to shake all the thoughts in my head loose and they rattled around at random. The trees were bare; I could see past the next rise to the basin of the Great Swamp. I argued in my head with invisible adversaries, and the arguments went my way, not surprisingly since I was arguing for them as well as for myself, rewinding, recapitulating, rephrasing. As I went down the other side the sun went behind the ridge. The tree trunks before me were blue with shade, the opposite hill orange where the sun hit the leaf litter. Blue sky with white and yellow puffs of cloud. That which was present before me captured my attention, and my absent occupation faded. I got down to the bottom of the valley, the clear, sparkling waters: the headwaters of the Passaic. I was warm and sweaty. The little pools in the banks of sediment were clear and calm. The earth was soft; dormant, not frozen. It was very quiet.